Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Spiritual Experience Guacamole

Upon trying this guac, one of my friends (who admittedly doesn't even like guacamole) announced, "This is the closest I've come to a spiritual experience." With an endorsement like that, how could you not want to make it?

Yes, I did use a red bowl for the aesthetic. Because we're all about looking good around here (queue laughs from anyone who has ever seen me in an 8am class). Unfortunately, these are Florida avocados, despite the fact that I like Hass better. But Florida ones were on sale and I'm not here to spend extra money on what is essentially the same thing (ONLY BETTER). Anyways.

Also, how do you pick a ripe avocado? Thanks for asking, lovely. I'm sure you've seen the Buzzfeed video or a thingy on Pinterest, but let me tell you what I do: I literally squeeze it and ask myself if I can mash it up without too much pain. So yeah.

A rainbow of flavor

I added corn because WOW, it's delicious this year. So summery. So sweet. And it adds a nice crunch.

Emeril's Essence, while not essential, makes this so much better. You could substitute paprika, I guess, but you're missing out on so much flavor.

My hands are weird, sorry
The above is how I cut up my cilantro. You could just do it by hand with a knife and cutting board, but it takes forever and I'm just really not about that. So, what I do is put the cilantro into a glass and just cut with scissors (or kitchen shears, but God only knows where mine are. maybe wash your scissors first.) until the cilantro is little. It's like you're your own food processor. Lovely.

Life- changing Guacamole
2 Florida avocados (or 4 Hass)
1/4 cup cilantro, snipped/cut
1/4 cup red onion, chopped
1 ear fresh corn, off the cob
1/2 cup tomato, chopped
1 jalapeno, chopped (depending on your spicy tolerance)
1/2 tsp salt (or more, depending on your taste)
1/4 tsp Essence
1/4 cup Miracle Whip (or mayo, if you must)
juice of 1/2 a lime

  1. Mash the avocados with a fork.
  2. Add the rest of the ingredients and stir.
  3. Taste it and make sure you like it. Adjust amounts of spices accordingly.
  4. Serve with literally anything. Chips. Tacos. Burrito bowls. Chicken. Ice cream (maybe not that). Feel better about life. 

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